Making the Most of Your Visits: Communicating with Someone Living with Dementia

Visiting someone living with dementia can sometimes feel challenging, particularly when conversations become more difficult or the person no longer communicates in the way they once did. You might find yourself unsure what to say, how to engage them or how to make your time together meaningful.

The important thing to remember is that communication is about much more than words. A smile, a familiar song, a reassuring touch or simply sitting together can all help maintain a connection. Whether someone is living with mild, moderate or advanced dementia, there are ways to make visits more comfortable, enjoyable and meaningful.

Communicating with someone with mild dementia

In the earlier stages of dementia, someone may still enjoy conversations and familiar activities, although they might occasionally struggle to find words, follow discussions or remember details.

A few small adjustments can help:

• Give them time to settle. Approach with warmth, come into their line of sight, smile and introduce yourself naturally. Even if you have visited many times before, allow them time to recognise you and become comfortable.

• Keep conversations relaxed. Ask one question at a time and give them plenty of time to respond. Try not to correct mistakes or put them on the spot with questions such as "Do you remember...?" Instead, let conversations develop naturally.

• Draw on familiar interests. Favourite hobbies, family traditions, music and happy memories can all provide lovely opportunities for conversation. If someone struggles to find the right words, gently help without rushing them.

• Find a quieter space. Background television, busy communal areas and several conversations happening at once can make it harder to concentrate. Where possible, choose somewhere peaceful where you can enjoy each other's company.

Connecting as dementia progresses

As dementia progresses, verbal communication may become increasingly difficult. This doesn't mean someone has lost their ability to enjoy company or experience meaningful moments. It simply means we may need to find different ways to connect.

Sensory experiences and familiar activities can be particularly valuable.

• Music and familiar sounds: Play songs they have enjoyed throughout their life. Singing together, humming or tapping along to a familiar rhythm can be comforting and may prompt happy memories.

• Touch and familiar scents: Bring something with an interesting texture, such as a soft scarf, velvet fabric or a familiar household object. Favourite perfumes, hand lotions and other recognisable scents can also create reassuring sensory experiences. A gentle hand massage may be welcome, provided the person is comfortable with touch.

• Enjoy visual activities: Looking through photographs can be a lovely way to spend time together, even if someone can no longer identify the people or remember the events pictured. Rather than asking them to recall who is in a photograph, try making observations such as "What a beautiful dress!" Flowers, nature videos and colourful objects can also provide gentle stimulation.

• Embrace the quieter moments: You don't need to fill every moment with conversation. Sitting together, holding hands if welcomed, listening to music or simply watching the world go by can be just as meaningful.

Making visits more comfortable

Whatever stage of dementia someone is experiencing, a little preparation can make a difference. If the person lives in a care home, speak to the team about when they are usually most relaxed and alert. Some people enjoy morning visits, while others are more comfortable later in the day. Planning around their individual routines can help make visits more enjoyable.

There may also be times when someone becomes distressed, confused or says they want to go home. Rather than arguing or trying to explain why they cannot, acknowledge how they are feeling. For example, you might say, "You sound as though you're missing home. I'm here with you." Offering reassurance and gently introducing something familiar, such as music or photographs, can help shift their attention towards a more comfortable experience.

Above all, try to follow their lead. Some days they may be chatty and engaged; on others, they may prefer a quieter visit. Being willing to adapt your approach to how they are feeling that day is just as important as understanding their dementia.

Connection goes beyond words

One of the most important things to remember when visiting someone living with dementia is that the ability to communicate differently does not mean the ability to connect has disappeared. Your presence, patience and willingness to meet someone where they are can make a real difference. The most meaningful visits aren't necessarily those filled with conversation or activities, but those in which someone feels safe, included, valued and loved.

How Thrive Homecare can help

At Thrive Homecare, we understand how important meaningful connection is for people living with dementia. Our Dementia Care and Companionship services are designed around the individual, their interests, routines and relationships. This includes companionship visits for people living in care homes, helping them enjoy meaningful activities and important connections. We also offer a Later Life Advice & Support service for families navigating changing needs and planning for the future.

To find out more about our dementia care, companionship or advice services, contact our team at hello@thrivehomecare.co.uk or call 01227 935977.